Corporate Jargon Mashup

Just got this in an email from a company I did business with explaining some changes in their company:

“The inter-company merger was motivated by a desire to provide a deeper level of services to our clients by leveraging operational efficiencies across our organization.”

How many times did I have to read and write this drivel? I thank my lucky stars every night I don’t anymore. For those not versed in Corporatese, that sentence means they merged two departments from different companies into one and saved some money by reducing the amount of people they needed, and they are going to let people in the larger company deal with the boring stuff like accounting and HR.

On one hand you can’t run a company without ‘straight talk’ – talking directly and openly about things. On the other hand you have to treat the general public like idiots and spew out this shit to make it seem like you’ve successfully executed the Picard Maneuver and destroyed the Borg while having tea that morning.

Real, and sad.