How to Talk Like a Corporate Drone
If you’re heading towards the corporate ranks, grab this Douchebag Dictionary and memorize it. You’ll be a corporate douchebag in no time at all!
Every area of life has its own lingo… The cube farm is no exception.
Here’s an excerpt:
Unsucked: Overview or summary.
I want to make sure we cover everything we need to in this meeting, but I have a hard stop at two p.m.
Unsucked: Another meeting or obligation.
Due to rightsizing, we’ll be eliminating 50% of the department. We still have the same deliverable targets.
There’s a marketing team skull session tomorrow on the fallout from having Mel Gibson as the celebrity spokesperson for the new product line.
Here’s a ten-step guide to developing a killer social media strategy for your company.
Unsucked: Typing into text areas.
We are actualizing synergy amongst team members directly related to the project.
Unsucked: Working together.
If you are really headed to cubefarm, here’s a video sneak peek at life behind the suit: Endless conference calls.