Updates from June, 2010 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • NegBox 2:11 am on June 12, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Eric Berne, ,   

    Games People Play – Eric Berne M.D. 

    For the past five years I’ve taken a picture of the sky at sunset almost every day – to remind me I was here, to remind me I’m alive, in the now, and to remind me to take time to break out of my mental cage see the world as it truly is.

    When I read Games People Play by Eric Berne I felt the author was looking straight at my soul here:

    “The aware person is alive because he knows how he feels, where he is and when it is. He knows that after he dies the trees will still be there, but he will not be there to look at them again, so he wants to see them now with as much poignancy as possible.”

    The book is 46 years old and kick-started an area of psychology called transactional analysis. It is brilliant. It applies to the games people play when engaging your products and offers as much as to the games you play at home with your spouse. Do you know any alcoholics? Check out the game “Alcoholic” and see which role you’re in.

    The book has incredibly good stuff all around – and here is chapter 16, one of the final chapters – it doesn’t describe a game, but rather it describes one of the stages of becoming game-free.


    Chapter Sixteen: Autonomy

    The attainment of autonomy is manifested by the release or recovery of three capacities: awareness, spontaneity and intimacy.

    Awareness. Awareness means the capacity to see a coffeepot and hear the birds sing in one’s own way, and not the way one was taught. It may be assumed on good grounds that seeing and hearing have a different quality for infants than for grownups,1 and that they are more esthetic and less intellectual in the first’ years of life. A little boy sees and hears birds with delight. Then the “good father” comes along and feels he should “share” the experience and help his son “develop.” He says: “That’s a jay, and this is a sparrow.” The moment the little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. He has to see and hear them the way his father wants him to. Father has good reasons on his side, since few people can afford to go through life listening to the birds sing, and the sooner the little boy starts his “education” the better. Maybe he will be an ornithologist when he grows up. A few people, however, can still see and hear in the old way. But most of the members of the human race have lost the capacity to be painters, poets or musicians, and are not left the option of seeing and hearing directly even if they can afford to; they must get it secondhand. The recovery of this ability is called here “awareness.” Physiologically awareness is eidetic perception, allied to eidetic imagery.2 Perhaps there is alsoeidetic perception, at least in certain individuals, in the spheres of taste, smell and kinesthesia, giving us the artists in those fields: chefs, perfumers and dancers, whose eternal problem is to find audiences capable of appreciating their products.

    Awareness requires living in the here and now, and not in the elsewhere, the past or the future. A good illustration of possibilities, in American life, is driving to work in the morning in a hurry. The decisive question is: “Where is the mind when the body is here?” and there are three common cases.

    1. The man whose chief preoccupation is being on time is die one who is furthest out. With his body at the wheel of his car, his mind is at the door of his office, and he is oblivious to his immediate surroundings except insofar as they are obstacles to the moment when his soma will catch up with his psyche. This is the Jerk, whose chief concern is how it will look to the boss. If he is late, he will take pains to arrive out of breath. The compliant Child is in command, and his game is “Look How Hard I’ve Tried.” While he is driving, he is almost completely lacking in autonomy, and as a human being he is in essence more dead than alive. It is quite possible that this is the most favorable condition for the development of hypertension or coronary disease.

    2. The Sulk, on the other hand, is not so much concerned with arriving on time as in collecting excuses for being late. Mishaps, badly timed lights and poor driving or stupidity on the part of others fit well into his scheme and are secretly welcomed as contributions to his rebellious Child or righteous Parent game of “Look What They Made Me Do.” He, too, is oblivious to his surroundings except as they subscribe to his game, so that he is only half alive. His body is in his car, but his mind is out searching for blemishes and injustices.

    3. Less common is the “natural driver,” the man to whom driving a car is a congenial science and art. As he makes his way swiftly and skillfully through the traffic, he is at one with his vehicle. He, too, is oblivious of his surroundings except as they offer scope for the craftsmanship which is its own reward, but he is very much aware of himself and the machine which he controls so well, and to that extent he is alive. Such driving is formally an Adult pastime from which his Child and Parent may also derive satisfaction.

    4. The Fourth case is the person who is aware, and who will not hurry because he is living in the present moment with the environment which is here: the sky and the trees as well as the feeling of motion. To hurry is to neglect that environment and to be conscious only of something that is still out of sight down the road, or of mere obstacles, or solely of oneself. A Chinese man started to get into a local subway train, when his Caucasian companion pointed out that they could save twenty minutes by taking an express, which they did. When they got off at Central Park, the Chinese man sat down on a bench, much to his friend’s surprise. “Well,” explained the former, “since we saved twenty minutes, we can afford to sit here that long and enjoy our surroundings.”

    The aware person is alive because he knows how he feels, where he is and when it is. He knows that after he dies the trees will still be there, but he will not be there to look at them again, so he wants to see them now with as much poignancy as possible.

    Spontaneity. Spontaneity means option, the freedom to choose and express one’s feelings from the assortment available (Parent feelings, Adult Feelings and Child feelings). It means liberation, liberation from the compulsion to play games and have only the feelings one was taught to have.

    Intimacy. Intimacy means the spontaneous, game-free candidness of an aware person, the liberation of the eidetically perceptive, uncorrupted Child in all its naivete” living in the here and now. It can be shown experimentally (3) that eidetic perception evokes affection, and that candidness mobilizes positive feelings, so that there is even such a thing as “one-sided intimacy” – a phenomenon well known, although not by that name, to professional seducers, who are able to capture their partners without becoming involved themselves. This they do by encouraging the other person to look at them directly and to talk freely, while the male or Female seducer makes only a well-guarded pretense of reciprocating.

    Because intimacy is essentially a function of the natural Child (although expressed in a matrix of psychological and social complications), it tends to turn out well if not disturbed by the intervention of games. Usually the adaptation to Parental influences is what spoils it, and most unfortunately this is almost a universal occurrence. But before, unless and until they are corrupted, most infants seem to be loving (4) and that is the essential nature of intimacy, as shown experimentally.

    I take a picture of the sky at sunset almost every day – to remind me I was here, to remind me I’m alive and to remind me to take time to break out of my mental cage see the world as it truly is.

  • Gratuitous Eye Candy

  • NegBox 7:09 pm on June 9, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ,   

    Time and Culture – Time and Marketing 

    This short animation with Phillip Zimbardo, professor Emeritus of Psychology at Stanford University, is mind-blowing. Redefines how you view so many things, it can’t help deepen your perspective of how you put out messages in marketing.

    What are the time preferences of those who you target, and how do you communicate to them?

    Mind-bending. Watch.

    • Zac 3:28 am on September 9, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      K, nice blog. I’ve read a few of your posts and you seem to have insights that others aren’t talking about.

      This sort of info could easily be used in copywriting

    • Slave Rat 3:19 pm on September 9, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks Zac, the folks at the RSA, doing the RSAvideos have a whole series of them. Yes, very much of this can be taken into account when doing copywriting – The critical part is when doing copywriting internationally. What works is completely different – Other cultures favor, for example, what their peer group does over what they themselves have done – so calling out a prior commitment from them to you won’t work whereas calling out their group’s involvement will. It gets pretty complex and some folks have some some really nice studies if you’re interested. Copywriting is an area where you can test, and can run rather inexpensive tests. International business is an area where you can learn, though ‘split testing’ or running a focus group is simply not an option – Understanding cultural variety help immensely when doing business across cultural borders.

  • Gratuitous Eye Candy

  • NegBox 5:44 pm on June 7, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Underwater, Vision   

    How to See Clearly Underwater 

    Would you like to learn how to see 3x more clearly underwater with no gimmicks? Read on… Seriously…

    This morning I was diving in the pool when I started wondering why the heck we (humans) don’t see clearly under water. I started running through what I know… 800 times denser, refraction… Then it hit me I might be generalizing – Maybe I’m the only one that sees all blurry like shit underwater. So I whipped out the oracle (Google) and searched on why… Nice article by Prof Ron Douglass describes why in terms I barely understand, then mentions a tribe on “Sea Gypsies” called the Moken see real good and its a matter of training…

    Say What? And now you tell me? So I do some digging… Bumped into an article that looked like the modetherlode, but Elsevier wants me to pay and I think I’ve lost access to Athens (the research paper authentication thing). Google some more and I found the researcher, her thesis and doctoral papers… Her name is Anna Gislen at the Swedish university of Lund and her research is all there.

    Simply Amazing.

    I see potential for a full-blow as-seen-on-TV product here…

    NEW! See underwater clearly with the new Gislen Method! You’ll be the talk of the pool party! Chicks will blow you before they even tell you their names!



  • Gratuitous Eye Candy

  • NegBox 10:25 pm on April 11, 2010 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: 77, , , Rogerscopy, Saj, The Site Rush, Zero Friction Marketing   

    $77 – The Magic Number 

    Doing some mild research… Scanning the HTML of some offer pages.

    First stop was Saj’s Zero Fricti0n Marketing, where I looked at the HTML and found this nugget right at the top:

    <!-- saved from url=(0052)http://www.rogerscopy.com/Saj/images/salespage2.html -->

    I decided to check out Rogerscopy and its the site of a copywriter. Quite a nice unintended endorsement from Saj – Now I know who might be good for copy-writing for a launch. Bookmarked.

    The other thing that caught my eye was a call to an off-site script:


    I moseyed over to “The Site Rush” and realized its another of Saj’s sites – no mysteries there, he isn’t hiding it. I got curious to see the price he put on this one…

    Its the magic number…


    Seventy-Seven is the LARGEST number (from 1 to 100) that is perceived as the SMALLEST number. I believe reference to this research is in Robert Cialdini’s latest book (“YES!”)- I remember reading it from a reputable source and checking up on the research – Its was legit. When it comes to prices and spending money, $77 is perceived as a smaller amount than even $76, and is the largest number that is perceived as the smallest.

    PS: This is the first post where I’m putting affiliate links. I’d suggest replacing with your own if you really want any of the stuff I ever mention, but if you just want to send me money, then by all means… Go for it. I followed NickyCakes advice and got an ID specifically for the blog – So no reversing.


  • Gratuitous Eye Candy

compose new post
next post/next comment
previous post/previous comment
show/hide comments
go to top
go to login
show/hide help
shift + esc